What’s the best way to discipline a toddler

By Judith Hudson, Ph.D.

Question: What’s the best way to discipline a toddler?

Answer: At any age, discipline should focus not on punishment but on
teaching your child how you want him to behave. Because he’ll learn
differently at different ages, discipline techniques should match
your child’s developmental level. During his toddler years, the best
methods are repetition, distraction, and supervision.

Repetition is important because children between the ages of 1 and 3
need lots of practice. There’s no point in getting upset because you
told your child not to climb on the table “a hundred times!” He may
literally need to hear it more than a hundred times before he can
modify his behavior. Following directions, taking turns, and
delaying gratifications are tough concepts for a toddler, and
they’re learned only through constant practice. So provide the
practice. And be patient.

Distraction is especially helpful for keeping toddlers out of
trouble. Once you’ve told your toddler not to climb on the coffee
table, it may be better that you redirect his attention to the bird
outside the window. You don’t need to get into a battle of wills
over the coffee table for him to learn not to climb on it. In fact,
you want him to learn how to find alternatives to behaviors you
don’t allow, and there’s no harm in giving him some suggestions.

Supervision involves being alert to your toddler’s moods and
avoiding difficult situations. Avoid confrontations by “toddler-
proofing” your child’s environment so that most temptations are out
of sight and true safety concerns are kept to a minimum. It’s much
easier for a child to learn what “no” means if it applies to only a
few situations — no hitting, no climbing, no running in the street —
instead of a long list of no-no’s (no touching the VCR, no touching
the cat’s food, no opening the cupboard doors, no going down the
stairs, and so on).